heyy!! its halloween!! i think imma spend it at home! haha.. dork.

so after i logged off yesterday, at around 5 ish.. baby be buggin. good thing some people called and i had an excuse to hang up and just call him back.(not!) foreza called..said they were in ontario..and im like 'that's coo'..she goes on to ask me if i was goin to ryan's party, how i was getting there, who i was going with, and tells me that they might not go seeing as they have no means of getting there..

i believe this is the part where im suppose to suggest something and help out..

under normal circumstances, my usually eager-to-help self would get the better of me and suggest that maybe i can find someone to pick them up or maybe i can go and get them myself..

but that didn't happen. i go 'mmmmm..sayang." then may call wait so i said goodbye and talked to madelle. she asked me what i was doin..told her i was in bed..inaantok pa ako nun e..ilang oras lng kme nakatulog sa kanila tapos paputol putol pa.. she told me she was with ryan and ezra and baka pumunta sila sa bahay. i thought 'kewl, i finally get to meet em in person'. they arrived around 6pm.. napapraning nako nun dahil nde pako nakakabawi ng tulog pero ang hyper ko pa..i spoke faster than the usual tapos natatawa nako agad sa ikkwento ko.. haha. i wonder what their first impression of me was?
anyway, ayun, kickback dito sa bahay, they were relatively easy to get along with.. we went to 7 11 to get some chips then we watched monster's inc., at which point sobrang inaantok nako. so i suggested that we watch upstairs in my room. so yun dun na kme nanood.. tapos ayun, nagkulitan na kme dun.

truth or dare.. how do u feel right now? hehehe

at 10 pm, owen called, he was coming over for the 'orgy'. haha. we left the house at 12pm.. which was actually just 11pm, pero fall back na eh so we lost an hour. nandun kme sa may tapat ng pickup parked malapit samin devising our little 'gameplan' while laughing at stupid things.. ang kukulit nga eh. they were really fun to hang out with. in the end, nemo convinced ryan to go to ryan's party. he was really hesitant at foist, iwas gulo xa dahil nandun cla.. un na un. pero we told him na wag na lang nya pansinin.. ezra went as far as saying 'ill bite his dick off before he gets to you'. lol.
and so, we were on our way. krystal called and told us na kanina pa raw kme inaantay. nax. pag dating namin dun kala namin wala nang tao.. tahimik kasi.. tapos sobrang baba nung garage door kaya nde namin makita kung cno yung andun. so pag pasok namin, waaaw.. ang daming tao.. most everyone was seated along this long ass table parang pang last supper.. pero meron pang mga nakaupo sa gilid at nakatayo. siguro mga 45+ katao.. may music and lights and plenty of chibog. only, malamig na yung food. but no matter, after all, we came to drink!
daming tao.. daming pinakilala, wala ako halos naalala. inalis ung tables para raw makapagsayawan na tulad nung dati sa bday ni mike and sam, pero as soon as the floor was cleared, lahat halos lumabas. natira mga lalaki saka kme nila ezra sam and krystal. tapos lumabas na rin c sam and krystal pati c ezra and ryan. kami nalang ni madelle ung babae sa room. kahit na ba gs2 rin namin sumayaw, nde ko yata carry na 8 to 1 ung ratio ng boys to girls. kaya ung mga guys nagpakitang gilas na lang, nagsisipagsayaw. tapos nagsilabas na rin lahat, naguwian na ung iba. ang kokornyo nyo! hehe madelle. tapos ayun binalik na ung tables. tapos tamang food trip.. kain kme nila madelle ng pancit tapos fininger na ung cake. ang sarap naman nung cake! haha.
overall, the party was ok. nde nalang namin cguro naenjoy mashado kasi late comers na kme. meron pang ibang nagdating-an afterwards. pero we had our laughs, and that was good enuff for me. meron pa kong bagong katext. haha. hinatid namin c madelle, then dumaan samin kasi nandun ung car ni ezra and ryan. tapos nag pa gas kme ni nemo. gs2 pa nya bumalik sa party, but only if i went with him. eh dahil wala nmn ako curfew, sige na rin pero prehas na kameng nahikab sa kotse. hehehe mga ayaw lng mag sipag uwi. so we talked about some things.. and what one person said behind my back during the party. haay nako. i dont even wanna get into the details cause it's only pissing me off. pag dating namin dun parang wala nang tao..so owen went down to check. i dozed off in the car.. haha. he came back tapos sabi nya wag na lng raw kme mag stay for reasons that i'd rather not talk about. so we left, tapos nagyayaya pa na magvideoke. nyaha. pero wala na, suko na ko nun eh. so nagpahatid na lng ako.
pag uwi ko, tumawag c mike. usap usap, tulog na raw lahat ng nakila ryan. kme nalang ang natirang gising. wala, matibay eh. lol. hung up at about 6 30am. inoff ko na fone ko this time para wala nang distorbo. i am in dire need of some sleep! woke up at 6pm.. i learned na i missed a few calls. may mga nagyayaya pa rin lumabas. but i didnt really care.. nakabawi ako ng tulog eh and that's all i really wanted. but my back and my sides are kinda sore.. anyway, ive got lots to do pa and ive done nil. inuna ko pa to. haha. mga prioridad ko talaga.. out!

logged off at around 5am after ng soundtrip with madelle. woke up at around 4pm or so..but only because mike called and that woke me up. called madelle and told her i was coming over. left the house at around 5 30pm. sa tapat lng ng bahay namin ung bus stop kaya naman nde nako tinamad na magpunta sa kanila.. got on the bus around 5 50pm. arrived at foothill x commerce at 6 10pm. mabilis lng nmn pala. met up with madelle in rio. rio is this funky gypsy store located beside a cafe. spent about 20 minutes there..paikot ikot lng..naaaliw sa mga incense and shiiet.. we didnt get anything though. nyaha. we walked back to her house and ate chicken, fish, fishball, at halo halo.. kwento kwento.. browse browse.. sabay inantok na kme at umidlip ng sandale. around 10 pm nagtxt c kulot, pickup-in na raw kme. we left her house at 11, papuntang kbox. at first mejo weird kasi ang nakita lng namin dun eh si mike at ryan temple and about 7 other people whom we didnt know. pero pag pnta namin dun sa room, dun pala cla ryan abai, raymond abai and jed. so ayun, nagkantahan. nung una nagkakahiyaan pa, ung mga guest lang ang kumakanta pero nung umalis na ung ibang tao, lumabas na ang tunay na anyo. mga super saiyan pala. weh? hehe walang hiya hiya! komedi nga eh kasi may joke among the group.. kung cno ung manunundo ke.. bsta un na un! haha ayoko na magsalita. kaya naman tawa lng kme ng tawa. ring ng ring mga cellphone nila, walang nang gs2 sumagot. dumating rin c owen after a while. bale ilan ba kame nun.. c ryan abai, raymond abai, ryan temple, jed, kulot, mike, madelle, ako, jen jen, jenny, aaron, mico, jarred/n(?), rachel and 2 others.. anyway, enjoy nmn un.
we left the room at 2 10am. lipat venue. kila ryan temple na itutuloy. sumabay nako ky owen..kme na ung huling umalis sa kbox kc may nameet xang katropa nya dun saka nangungulit c emilio. 'may bata ka ba?' psh. di ko gets un nung una. mangangareer pala.
so pagdating namin kila ryan, lumuwag na ung garage nila thanks to mike. ang sweet nun kay ryan. magsho na yata. lol. sabay ang daming writings on the wall! saya! so pakitang gilas naman ang mga marunong mag tag at mag grafitti. ehem* haha. nah jus kidding. c owen(or should i say newo/nemo) ang maangas, nag labas ng spray paint. ang lakas ng amoy..nakaka high. kaya tamang lahat may topak after a while. tumawag nga c baby eh. haha. tapos dumating c ryan ata may dalang coke at pizza. ininit ung pizza tapos inuman na. tanggero si ryan abai. dun na kame nagsimula talagang mag enjoy. lahat makulit na.. saya nga eh. and to think, inuman un ha and nandun c kulot and jed. NGUNIT!! walang na-aning! walang nag away! at walang lumuhod sa kalye! lmao! everyone was just having fun..walang lasing, tamang masaya lng ang inuman. naguwian na at about 5am. kasama ko c madelle and all three abaigars. hold on..abaigar rin nga ba c jed? on second thought, nvm. dun kasi ako kila madelle matutulog. nakadating na kme dun mag sisix am na. bumaba rin ung tatlo para maki ihi. pero di na rin cla umalis. tamang nanood pa kme ng mga vids ni madelle. aliw nga e. tulugan na at around 7am ata. 7 45 tumatawag na c geny. ung basketball game nga plaa! pero wala eh, di pa kme nakakatulog kaya di na lng. pero di pa rin nmn ako nakatulog, ultimo may araw na at naririnig ko nang nagaalmusal ang pamilyang ladub, wala pa rin. tanginang beer yan. di ako makatulog! pero ok lang, may kadamay naman ako eh. when tita and louisa left for church, dun na lng ata ako nakatulog tlaga. nagising kme mga 8am pero mga tinatamad bumangon kaya natulog ulit. nagising na lng ulit 11 30 na. kukulit nga nung tatlo, nagyayaya nang umalis pero nde nmn tumatayo. kaya naglunch na rin kme dun hanggang sa alas tres na pala. we left at about 3 30pm pumunta kme sa isang shop na nagbebenta ng halloween costumes along foothill. pero wala rin nmng binili. after nun nagpahatid nako. got home at around 4 15 pm. ngayon inaantok na ulit ako.. kaya out na muna. mmya na ulit.

memorable linesss:
pili ka.. hahaha owen
lovely

run betch. lol 

i saw 'the grudge' today.

hrmm..
woke up at around 4ish.. mike called. gs2 pa rin mag knotts scary. hehe..called madelle about an hour after. gs2 rin nya manood ng the grudge kaya tuloy kme. afterwards i called owen. game xa as always. called ryan, asked him where he was.. talked about some shit and laughed it off.. mga tropa mo ryan eh.. mga high school!*lol* gs2 rin nya sana mag knotts. hehe. la na tayo tix eh.. sayang. tapos tumawag si abai kay ryan, so tinawagan ko ulit si madelle para confe. by the end of it, anim na kme sa lakad. (mike wen ryan abai del ako) then madelle called geny, sama rin xa. si mike nasa culver pa so i called temple ulit kung pde xa pumick up ky mike. jed turned out to be the one to pick him up which was cool kase ngaun 8 na kme. the more the merrier!
so ligo ako 7pm. natapos ako maligo at magbihis mga..830..2mawag c geny, na un nga, sunduin daw muna si madelle kasi nasa tita nya ata xa.. either way, un rin nmn ang plano seeing as di ko nmn lam san xa nakatira eh. hehe. mga 9 30, confe kme nila madelle geny at ezra. ung showtimes kasi ay 9 10 at 11 sa burbank. e if we left at 10, edi ung 11 na lang ung aabutan namin. e tinignan ni madelle sa site ng amctheatres, sold out na rin lahat ng tix. so namomroblema na kaya madelle checked out other cinemas and mukang mapapadpad pa kme sa paseo para lng makanood.. which was perfectly fine, with me at least. kahit saan naman eh. hehe. sabay di ko pa macontact c owen. naiwan nya kase fone nya sa bahay. then ryan called..nasa burbank na raw cla. nakabangga pa nga eh. hehe.. may kwento yan eh, pero wag ka na. anyway..san na ba si owen? susunduin pa namin c del at geny and supposedly, c xxxxx. hmmf.
9 45 tumawag c owen, papunta na raw xa samin. edi ayos na. ngunit!! nag baback out na c genevieve kasi mukang di rin kme makakanood.. kaya mejo nayayamot nako kasi almost 10 na at wala pa rin c wen. pero ayun, when the clock struck 10, dumating na c owen. pagpasok ko ng car, i grabbed on to anything i could get my hands on.. 120 takbo namin men. nakakapraning pero ang saya!! so ayun, we picked del up. tawag c ryan, nakakuha na xa ng tickets for 11 45. pero 9 tickets lang kasi nga kala namin d na sama c geny. to make a long story short, delle had to tell(uyy ryhme) a little white lie and the 9th ticket went to geny.
pag dating namin burbank, sakto parking namin. directly below ung cnehan. 'God's will' nga daw accdg to geny. i love you God x3. hehe..*inside joke!* di ka kasale! so ayun nagkita kme ni temple. i got myself something to eat and we went on inside. grabe. ang haba ng pila para lng sa the grudge. and dami gwapo! saya!! haha. nah just kidding. nandun c ryan at raymond(abai) nakaupo sa sahig along with a helluva lot of people. so we joined them then mike and jed arrived shortly thereafter. 11 pa lang ata nun. 45 mins to go. so ayun, kwento kwento. after 20 mins, pinapasok na rin kme. we got good seats this time.
as for the movie...nakakabakla men. nakakatakot sa nakakatakot, at nakakapraning from time to time. pero mejo non sequitur ung istorya.. i dont wanna get into details cause naiisip ko ung movie and it gives me the heebee-jeebees.. (sp? nvm..)
afterwards, tamang inuulit namin ung mga sound effects from the movie. (as it always is after watching a horror flick.. i think its written somewhere that as a rule, you are obligated to imitate scenes from the movie to annoy other movie-goers..)
so umalis kme burbank at about 2am. tumuloy kme sa full house sa chinatown. we had dinner, some light conversation and a few laughs. after dinner, we hung around for a bit.. tawanan kme nila del, geny at abai's.. we left there at say..3:25am.. got home at around 4 or so. after ako hatid ni owen, nakausap ko c madelle at geny pa sa ym. hehe. kakatawag lang ni ry. nang-aaning si gago. mrrawr!! hehehe. matuloy kaya kme bukas sa queen mary scary?? hmm. bahala na si batman.
shit. its 6am. magsisimba pa pala ko ng 11am kasama family ni madelle. fuck. ano kaya sasabihin ko sa erpats ko.. haha. kung sa kanya nga di ako sumasama pag niyayaya nya ako magcmba.. hay. ewan. o sha. nagriring na uli fone ko. magcacall back pa nga pala ako. out!!

timberwolves 

this was done using grafitti creator.  

this took me hours to finish. isa isa yang mga red spirals na yan gamit yung pencil sa paint. putangina, torture sa wrist.. pero im very happy with it. this is the first na ginawa ko sa computer na tinapos kong talaga. effort yan. 

grabe na toh. pag inlove nga nmn talaga sa sarili.. hirap walang bf! haha 

nalugi c madelle. hehe 

kumakalat na po ang epidemya ng hepa 

mga wanted. hmm..  

damn haters

ive been played.

i dont harbor bad sentiments towards you. pero damn, i just cant believe na you guys toyed with me. i guess i can't expect that you treat me just as i've treated you pero aray ha. maybe i was too naive or too trusting..

maybe i oughta be angry..but im not. maybe i shouldn't have given myself so easily.. but i did. ..maybe you could've been more worthy of my trust..
but you're not.

to add insult to injury, i held you in high regard. i sincerely liked you for the person i thought you were. but i guess i saw you the way i wanted to see you.. having looked over so many red flags.

lying..
manipulating..
plastic

ack. i hate sounding like such a fucking victim..

pictures from when madel, mike and owen spent the night at my house  

mike at ako 

owen at madelle. lol 

random pic 

the genius of gilbert

Whisper to me...The infinite language
of our hearts....Uplift me...With your
joyful smile....It's the little things
you do....That make loving you....So
easy....

if ever your goin to love me...
love me now while im still here...
the sweet tender feeling of affection...
love me now while i can still feel...
say you love me while im still livin...
dont wait for me till im gone...
and carved the word "love" on a ice-cold stone...
if you have dear sweet thoughts
why not whisper them to me...
dont you know that...
itl make me happy..
as glad as can be...
if youll wait til i sleep..
never to awaken again...
there will be walls of earth between us..
and i wont hear those sweet and tender words then...
i wont need any of your kind caress...
when the grass grows on my face...
i wont crave for your love and kisses...
in my eternal resting place...
so if you love me even just a bit...
let me know while im still breathin..
so i can own and treasure
every part of it.
~www.tabulas.com/~gerbert

hmm..
tanginang linggo yan.
dami kong tinanggihan na party para lang mapa good shot ako kay daddy. (uy rhyme.) sabay wala rin ako napala. nag away lng rin kme sabay nde rin ako good shot.

lesson learned: tama nang pag papagoodshot. nakakasira ng tropa yan.

sabay kala ko wala akong pasok ngayon. nakauwi nako 4am kasi kumain pa kme ni owen after ng kbox. i missed my first class. and i was half an hour late for my second.

ang ganda na nmn ng simula ng linggong to.

fore, kulot, raymond, rj, sarah 

someone, van, fitz, mon, fore, crystal, sam 

fore, ako, rj, crystal, geny 

maselang bahaghari

i thought i was over him..

i sort of knew about it but decided to ignore it. after all, things were going great between us. she wasn't a threat. she was my friend. the night progressed and he was all over the other girls yet again. i was used to it by now.. but that doesn't mean i'm ok with it. i just turned the other cheek.. i stopped getting jealous whenever he did that.. he was always acted that way anyway. sabi nga ng katropa naming isa dati, 'bat ka magseselos? kayo ba?' aray. anyway. throughout the night, narerealize ko na nde ko talaga xa gusto na. but i still made out with him.. i was hesistant though. tas the succeeding times na he wanted to have another go at it, di ko na xa pinatulan. tinarayan ko na nga xa actually eh. the day after, i was still acting cold towards him. kasi talagang nawala ung attraction eh. i didnt even care when he flirted with my friend sa harap ko. and i was starting to question what i liked about him in the first place. that same day was the last time i talked to him. sometimes i thought about him.. missed him even. but the rest of the time i didnt. i was relieved na i was finally getting over him. cause i knew na things between us weren't really going anywhere, it was a dead end relationship. in fact, calling what we had a 'relationship' is quite a stretch. today i found out na he and my girl friend have been in touch more than the usual. 'minu-minutong nagtatawagan' was what my ears called it. and everything just fell into place. the things my girl friend used to tell me about this guy she was having problems with.. they were about him. the actions of the guy were mainly what bothered me the most. pero now, i just can't believe na after all the things i confided sa friend ko na un.. siya pala ang may tinatago sakin. about pa dun sa same guy. e kinukwento ko pa naman sa kanya ung mga problema, mga development, at kalokohan namin nung guy na un. haaay. nakaka aning ha. i'm not angry. i'm just frustrated.

*update* haha. paka drama. i bounced back within 5 days. lol